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Thursday, 25 July 2013

My Year as a Film Producer (on Twitter)

FILM IDEA: I"LL BE BACH" Meta Drama in which Scwarzeneger plays himself trying to win the role of the German Composer in a biopic

FILM IDEA: UNDERCOVER GOTH: a goth goes undercover to solve a crime

FILM IDEA: CAN"T STOP DANCING: A man can't stop dancing...A Hi-Octane Dance movie (think Crank meets Strictly Ballroom)

FILM IDEA: ONE LAST BANG: on the day of her retirement a prostitute unwittingly takes on a schizophrenic client

FILM IDEA: DETECTIVE SHIT: He's a Detective, with an unfortunate name

FILM IDEA: MIDDLE AGED SPREAD: A man in a mid life crisis joins a gymnastics team

FILM IDEA: LADY'S INTUITION: detective Derrick Lady is called in to solve a crime cos he has the best intuition.

FILM IDEA: ROBOPOP: AFTER GETTING HIMSELF CAUGHT IN A TROUSER PRESS A FATHER OF TWO HAS TO LEARN TO LIVE HIS LIFE AS HALF MACHINE

FILM IDEA:UNDERCOVER LOVER BROTHER: A detective pretends to be a woman's lost brother while on a secret job romance sizzles what's he to do?

FILM IDEA: PRIME SINISTER:the Prime Minister is bitten by a vampire and changes currency to virgin blood Position in Europe lies in tatters

FILM IDEA: DON'T TAKE THEM OFF: A strippers life is rocked when she is diagnosed with being Invisible

FILM IDEA: DARTS OF WAR: When the entire missile unit of the U.S.A is taken out in a dubious war they call on Phil Taylor to aim some shots



FILM IDEA: THUNDER STRIKE:an umbrella sales man is called into action when a thunderstorm hits a telecommunication office.

FILM IDEA: SEX THREAT: When a man on a phone sex call is taken hostage in his own home, the sex worker has to operate as a negotiator

FILM IDEA: Mistaken Security: in a terrible mix up a swimming pool life guard is hired by the FBI to protect the president of the U.S.A

FILM IDEA: THE POET: A poet wreaks vengeance upon the publishers that turned down his novella. Wordy thriller starring Gerard Butler

FILM IDEA: THE PAT BENATAR STORY: the biopic of a man who was unfortunately named Pat Benatar after the successful 80's female artist

FILM IDEA: NO WAY OUT: After successfully breaking out of prison, a felon gets lost on the tube.

FILM IDEA: COLD TURKEY: Misunderstanding the concept, A crack addict shoots up while waiting for his Turkey to cool down. Jack Black stars

FILM IDEA: THE BACK PASSAGE: keanu reeves discovers his back door leads to the garden of his teenage home where he reconnects with his dad

FILM IDEA: LOCKED OUT: Macauley cullin reprises his role as Kevin but this time he's locked out. A crazy time in the suburbs ensues

FILM IDEA: THE BEAST WITHIN: A Michelin Starred Chef battles with an ongoing flirtation with canniblism. Thriller starring Steven Segal

FILM IDEA: BAD GOOD COP: He's a good cop, but he's shit at his job

FILM IDEA: remake of the Bruce Willis classic Blind Date. But this time an insecure man is set up on a date with a blind woman

FILM IDEA: A retired cop is reinstated back to work to help track down a retired murderer
FILM IDEA: WOOD COP BAD COP: a ventriloquist and his dummy go undercover to avenge the death of a graphic designer

FILM IDEA: I'll meet you in five minutes later: time travelling rom com about a mans troubles with online dating

FILM IDEA: HARD BALL: Julia Roberts stars as the fastest prostitue in the business. She's really hard to get.

FILM IDEA: DIRTY JESUS: Reworking of Dirty Harry starring Gerard Butler

FILM IDEA: DIE HARD 6: A Onesie in a million: While Bruce Willis tries on a onesie in a shopping mall. Terrorists strike.

FILM IDEA: HANDS OFF MY DOG: a man grows increasingly jealous of his girlfriends devotion to his dog.

FILM IDEA: 20 years since the Sixth Sense Joel Haley Osment's character joins the Ghostbusters

FILM IDEA: A Schizophrenic is put on the Witness Protection Program after witnessing a murder it turns out he committed... Taut Thriller

FILM IDEA: PANCAKE DAY: A Heist goes terribly wrong, and it's Pancake Day !#pancakes
FILM IDEA: A Psychiatrist decides he needs to see a psychiatrist who in turn suggests he talk to himself in front of a mirror

FILM IDEA: MR DISASTER: A man falls in love with a Brick Wall

FILM IDEA: Title for Jason Statham project...STANDARD BASTARD

FILM IDEA: A Murder Mystery starring a detective who is also a horny Monk, called HONK

FILM IDEA: A found footage film about a guy who finds a copy of the Blair Witch Project then watches it.

FILM IDEA: AUNTI CLIMAX: reworking of Uncle Buck starring Megan Fox

FILM IDEA: PIMP MY BRIDE: unbeknownst to his future wife a man hires her out to a pimp to pay for a dream honeymoon

FILM IDEA: THE HIPPY PROSTITUTE: A hippies notions of free love are confused when moves to the city and realises the rent prices on a bedsit

FILM IDEA: THE TERMINATOR VS THE HOBBIT: A Robot goes back in time to fight Bilbo Baggins and win an engagement ring for Sarah Conner

FILM IDEA: Chicken Nugget City. . . That's it so far
FILM IDEA: biopic of Michael McIntyre starring Sean penn

FILM IDEA: PRIVATE DETECTIVE HORSE: A Horse finds it difficult to keep himself discreet working undercover in Chicago.

FILM IDEA: WHAT THE F**K: In the future a man travels back in time to day of his birth punches out the doctor delivering and steals himself

FILM IDEA: BRINGING SEXY BACK: A bounty hunter is hired to find an inappropriately named child who goes missing on a school skiing trip

FILM IDEA: The Coked Director: A director with a coke problem demands everyone say everything faster at all times.

FILM IDEA: A Detective trying to find himself, hires himself, to find out about himself

FILM IDEA: a war veteran returns home and opens a laser quest

FILM IDEA: a couple of actors who have been playing a happily married couple in a soap 4 over 20 years hire the same guy to kill each other

FILM IDEA: POT POURRI A struggling single mother of three starts to sell Pot Pourri on the downlow to make ends meet. (think Breaking Bad)

FILM IDEA: A CALYPSO NOW!: A young brat is taught the world does not revolve around him when on a boarding school trip to Gaza.

FILM IDEA: I-I-I Lo-Lo-Love Y-Y-You: two people with extreme stutters fall in love in what critics are calling a frustrating romance

FILM IDEA: movie adaptation of A Very Hungry Caterpillar starring Jack Black

FILM IDEA: A film about Charlie Kaufman coming up with the idea for Being John Malkovich with Charlie Kaufman playing the Jonhn Cusack role
 
FILM IDEA: A man quits his job in middle management to count every tree in the world, on travels he meets a hot lady who works at a paper

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FILM IDEA: THE TIME DIFFERENCE: A couple try make best of a long distance relationship, but struggle with THE TIME DIFFERENCE

FILM IDEA: A married man has an affair with a married man (that's right it's 3.30am I don't stop)

FILM IDEA: THE 40 YEAR OLD INTERN VIRGIN: Similar to the 40 Year old virgin but this guy is also an intern

FILM IDEA: THE DISHWASHER: A dishwasher in a small restaurant decides to reap revenge when he is replaced with an actual dishwasher

FILM IDEA: DOGS IMITATING LOVE : the guide dog of a revered blind art critic falls in love with a hapless new gallerist

FILM IDEA: A man forgets his girlfriends birthday and buys her a lottery ticket as a last ditch present. She wins £50,000 and dumps him

FILM IDEA: OWL MAN: A man realises he has the super power of staying up all through the night and revolving his head 360 Degrees

FILM IDEA: THE TROUBLES WITH BEING YO MAMMA: a man called yo mamma gets a hard time whenever he's asked what his name is. (Flimsy premise)

FILM IDEA: WOMAN ON THE VERGE OF A NERVOUS BREAKDANCE: a single mother takes up an adults breakdancing Course. Life lessons are learnt

FILM IDEA: MIXED BAG: A schizophrenic lives a dangerous life when it becomes apparant one of his personalities is allergic to nuts.

FILM IDEA: TOUR DAD: a mid life crisis man decides to tour manage a band for a road trip and relearn how to party. Everybody learns a lesson

FILM IDEA: whilst on holiday superman and Lex Luther have a luggage mix up at the airport meaning they have to wear each others clothes...

FILM IDEA: THREE TIMES A LADY; a man falls in love with a lesbian and so has a sex change in an attempt to win her over.

FILM IDEA: Historical screwball comedy about the first man to ever get drunk

FILM IDEA: a man wakes to find his penis has been replaced with another mans. Think face off but with peniseses

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