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Thursday, 13 September 2012

Thursday, 6 September 2012

TOP TEN: BAD OPENING LINES WHEN IMPRESSING A LADY



1. YOU LOOK LIKE A GREEN OLIVE GIRL ...never presume

2. DO YOU HAVE A NECTAR CARD?...bit boring

3. CAN I BE YOUR FRIEND?...too needy

4. IS IT ME, OR IS IT TOO HOT IN HERE?...the emphasis on too is unneccessary, you don't want to look like you're there as Health and Safety

5. CAN I BUY YOU A SNACK TO GO WITH THAT DRINK?...nobody wants to be tempted into a snack at this stage

6. WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE?...stalker-ish

7. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU...binocular stalker-ish

8.HAVE YOU EVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT GETTING OLD?...too heavy

9.IF YOU WERE A TAX FILE, I'D APPLY FOR ACCOUNTANCY LESSONS...don't imagine her as a tax, pick something more sexy like a pole

10. DO YOU WANT TO COME TO MY PLACE? WE HAVE TOILET PAPER!...it should be a given that as an adult this will be fully stocked in your house

BAD DREAM

(major dream fail)

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Monday, 3 September 2012