CURVEBALLS

(TWIT)

DELI CULTURE

(TWIT)

TRYING TO SELL A BOOK TO A CHICKEN

Ok let's face it we're all screwed, with technologies vastly improving and industry fading we are fast becoming left with millions of sit at home Film Directors, Producers, Singer Songwriters and entrepreneurs. Everybody sits at home trying to promote and sell their crap to other people who are feigning interest as they try and sell you their crap. There are two ways this can work...(A)If I buy your crap you buy my crap in response...This is a risky gamble as you can't force or be sure that the other party understands the terms of the agreement.(B) We just look at it on the internet and hope it goes away...You know when you fancy a girl and you hope she only has eyes for you, and then some meathead just walks in and sticks his tongue down her mouth, that's what the internet is like....You make your little book and think you have done something special and unique then you do a google search and find it's one of a million, and some of the other books have a six pack(in comics glossary this means colour).

We can't give in though it's inhererent in our nature to create and communicate, so I decided to get round this by approaching an untapped market, a breed of creature yet to be jaded with the abundance of pop culture being produced by the second. It is not proving easy here are the problems I found...

(photos by Jon Baker)

1) Chickens can't read
2) Chickens don't seem to be interested in autobiographical soul bearing
3) Chickens haven't got bookshelves to place their purchase on( take note Ikea)
4) Chickens don't really know what they want
5) Chickens don't really relate to the same issues
6) Chickens openly poo on the floor

Selling stuff ain't easy
Buy my book Twit HERE

WISDOM

(You can buy the book TWIT here)

THE PICK UP

(buy the book TWIT here)

MASTERS TRAINING

(BUY THE BOOK TWIT HERE)

MODERN SONGWRITING

(buy TWIT here)

MY TOP 6 ACTS TO CHECK OUT AT THE HACKNEY WEEKENDER

(HOT SUSHI)

(MAIN COURSE)

(THE SIN BIN)

(LIGHT AND SHADE)

(CUDDLEZ)

(THE MIDDLE AGED WEIRDOS)

SELF HELP

That's right for the labels for this strip I added the prefix sexy to the word depression just to lighten the mood, and also to appeal to all the sexy but depressed people in the world.  In the real world I'm also trying to sell a book, a book with this strip in it, you can get it here...

That's right I'm like a pimp, a pimp with a book...and I'd like to apologise for my pimping, cos I'm a nice pimp, with guilt issues...

CONFUSION

(from the book TWIT, which can be bought here with a hand drawn strip inside, for up to when I get bored of drawing the same thing...buy here)

WOLF WHISTLE

(buy TWIT here)

HIGH CONCEPT

(from the book TWIT, you can buy it HERE)

HIPSTER TACTICS

(You can now buy the book Twit from here Twit, alternatively come to ELCAF on Sunday and find the Steak Night table)

TWIT...THE MOST EAGERLY ANTICIPATED BOOK RELEASE OF THE YEAR

On the 17th June I will be at ELCAF at Village underground in Shoreditch, London (http://www.elcaf.co.uk/) selling books we have published through Records Records Records records, I will also be launching my new book of three panel strips TWIT there. Yes that's right all the strips I've posted on this blog...but someone told me people still have a desire to own actual items...prove that guy right...if you can't make it down here is a pre order link...the first 50 will receive a loose hand drawn strip too...http://recordshop.greedbag.com/buy/twit/...

Here is an interview i conducted with myself which will teach you nothing about the book, click on it to read it, unless you have amazing vision, in which case enjoy.

BASIC ERRORS

(TWIT)

FASHION

THE MUSIC BUSINESS

(TWIT)

MEMOIRS OF A BARMAN

(THAT'S RIGHT AS YOU CAN SEE THIS IS PAGE 87 FROM THE BOOK TWIT, WHICH IS ALMOST OUT, I SHOULD STOP POSTING ALL THE PAGES AND I SHOULD STOP SHOUTING...sorry)

WRITER'S BLOCK

GRIMES/HIPNESS

(that's right this says 99 in the corner cos it's p99 of my book TWIT, which might come out in the time I said it would)